Wiggin' Out

So, I'm faced with a problem.  There is a lady at my school, really nice lady.  She always asks me how I am and how her boys are.   She has twin boys that I teach in one of my classes.  They are nice boys, too.  So what's the problem?

This lady is kind of older, I'd probably guess late 40s, possibly early 50s, but man, she has the shiniest, silkiest-looking brown hair that I've ever seen on an older woman, almost any woman for that matter.  Hmmm.... so I put two and two together and four = it must be a wig, right?  It's gotta be.  The thing is, I can't be sure, and I don't know what to do because
a) I don't want to ask anyone who might then report to her that I was asking about her fake hair.
b) I don't want to ask her because, come on, how rude can you get, and this lady is nice.
c) I don't want to ask her children or any of the other students who might report to the boys who would then report to her that I was asking if she had fake hair.  
and finally d) I actually don't know her name and therefore would have to describe her first without using "ya know, the one with the fake hair!"

Every time I see her, I just keep looking at her hair and thinking about it.  So, should I

a) go up and tell her what beautiful hair she has and ask what shampoo she uses.
b) compliment her hair saying "your hair looks lovely today" while touching it and attempting
to give a little tug and see what happens
c) risk asking someone even though I'm not sure who can be trusted
d) buy her a gift of a long blonde wig and see how she reacts OR
e) buy a black face mask and do a run by "wigging" and escape in my get-away car which
I will have parked outside the school complete with expert driver to do a doughnut in the parking lot and have us speeding away before she even knows that there was something removed from her head...
but what if it isn't a wig and I just end up pulling her hair and making her fall?   She might sue, but maybe she wouldn't know it was me if I had the mask.  

What to do, what to do?

(I'd like to also apologize for the lameness of the title of this blog, but I couldn't resist.)

Originally written for GlobeTrotting and Leaping